Is there a finer adjective than “free?” I think not. Consider Free Parking in Monopoly (or even real life), or free love, or free lunch, or especially free teaser chat. As you probably know by now, free teaser chat is the joy of this particular Chris Anderson. Heck, I built a website around it, didn’t I? Free teaser is a massively good idea, as any decent adult chat site like Flirt4Free or Peekshows would tell you.
Somehow, though, not all adult chat sites have gotten the word, and this is pretty much the bane of my existence. I spend a lot of time selflessly perusing adult chat sites, all for the benefit of my hordes of fans (I think I’m up to five now — six, if Larry from Kokomo pulls through on the gall bladder surgery. Go Larry!). I think I’m entitled to some free goodies from the site I’m reviewing.
CamChatUSA doesn’t agree. It’s got all these hot girls online, and apparently they’re all local — I wonder how they do that? Tragically, however, you can’t talk to any of them for free. It’s enough to make a grown man weep. If you want to take a look, here’s what the front page looks like — but beware! I had to use some of those little black stars again, naughty girls that they are.
Denied!
There are some really cute girls advertised on CamChatUSA, and I would have loved to have gotten to work on some of them. I was especially taken by the sleek girl calling herself the_cute_one, who was slender and small of breast, which is one of my turn-ons. I don’t really believe she lives in the town where I live, but I would have loved to have chatted with her, as she says in her profile that she’s French. But no — when you try to chat you’re bounced straight to a sign-up page. What, again? Didn’t this happen last time, when I reviewed CamChatter? Sigh.
But Wait a Minute Here..
Like CamChatter — and this worried me for a minute — CamChatUSA also offers access to a whole bunch of non-chat porn sites. But as far as I can tell, you really do get to access your favorite cam girl once you’ve paid your fees, and you have all kinds of free movies and pictures to choose from, some of which are pretty hardcore, if the thumbnails are any guide. There are also a few adult games and a bunch of erotic stories, probably the same ones you can get for free off the alt.sex.stories archive on UseNet.
My Mommy taught me that if I couldn’t say something good about somebody, not to say anything at all. Well, Constant Readers (all five or six of you), you know how well that took. If I followed that rule, there would be a lot of blank reviews on this website, now wouldn’t there? I prefer the old adage that goes “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach; and those who can’t teach, criticize.” It’s the American way, really. This is the Land of Opportunity, after all, where even an ignorant hick like me (or Matt Drudge) can become a big-time Intarweb pundit.
So let’s look at what CCU, as I fondly call it, does right. First of all, besides all the neat stuff I told you about a couple of paragraphs ago, it’s not that stupid site that pretends to be from Amsterdam but isn’t (it’s in my archives, lads — don’t make me risk my sanity by saying the name), and it’s not 247Live or 2Lips. There are actually quite a few girls here. Oh, and there are some pretty good pictures on the profile pages, which you can easily access without paying. Hot stuff, baby.
What You’ll Pay to Play
It’s not all that expensive to become a member of CamChatUSA, at least for one day: just pay $3.99, and you have access. You can pay by credit card, by phone, or, if you’re in the USA, by check. The site’s a little confused about how much a full month’s access costs — in one place it says $29.99, and in another $34.95. In either case, if I wasn’t a hard-hearted skinflint bastard, I’d think that wasn’t bad at all. But you know how I am. It should go without saying that the site rebills automatically at the end of each month, but then I’m a master at stating the obvious. If you join, be careful to unclick the “special offer” checkbox down at the bottom of the page to avoid being charged for some other website, which of course has nothing to do with adult chat. Shades of CamChatter (shudder). Hey, I’m starting to see some similarity in the naming pattern and marketing strategy here…
…And That’s All I have to Say About That.
I could jabber on for hours about this and that (it’s my only real talent, according to my latest ex-gf), but let’s cut to the chase. If you’re looking for hot, sexy, in-your-face free teaser chat with willing young ladies, then you’ll have to go somewhere besides CCU. At most, let it be a speed-bump on your way to find your daily ration of free teaser, or better yet, don’t go at all: THERE IS NO FREE TEASER WHATSOEVER ON CAMCHATUSA. In addition to that, they have this gimmick going on the profile pages where they try to claim that the girls live in your hometown. One maybe; all of them, no way. If there’s one thing I hate it’s blatant dishonesty, and I know you all feel that way too.
Try this: camchatusa
aka: CamsChatUSA -CamChatUSA - Cam Chat USA
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